I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
