if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
