dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
