i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
