come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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