Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
