Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
