Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
too bad you live with your parents still
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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