She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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