I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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