you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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