It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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