so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
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We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
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I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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