i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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