He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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