"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize