Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
