He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i love accidental penises.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize