Whoa Z and x make the same sound
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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