did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
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Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
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We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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