please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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