Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
