Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
