Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i dont even know how to be here
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
