24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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