went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize