Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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