Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
