so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
