so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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