I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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