u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
