Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
