That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
