Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize