Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
