I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
