Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
