I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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