oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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