Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
is that a dick in a sweater?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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