Will you blow on my dice?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
