I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
