on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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