I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
