There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
