well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
