Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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