Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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