Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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