I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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