Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
