I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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