i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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