none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize