White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this