Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants http://tfl.nu/tpip
  Replies (32) Good night (4382) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier? http://tfl.nu/2449
  Replies (185) Good night (5308) Bad night (7021)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome. http://tfl.nu/42y4
  Replies (12) Good night (4945) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (862): he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!" http://tfl.nu/rt63
  Replies (15) Good night (5266) Bad night (1517)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever. http://tfl.nu/0i0j
  Replies (31) Good night (948) Bad night (5950)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods http://tfl.nu/a68f
  Replies (13) Good night (7081) Bad night (1200)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood http://tfl.nu/t6a5
  Replies (13) Good night (1136) Bad night (3846)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string http://tfl.nu/a9dp
  Replies (9) Good night (1292) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.

  (1-714): View more from California

  If he was naked that was me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed. (1-714): If he was naked that was me. http://tfl.nu/ou2y
  Replies (10) Good night (4848) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up. http://tfl.nu/6z0c
  Replies (6) Good night (1688) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print. http://tfl.nu/m0e5
  Replies (7) Good night (1751) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): she's five days sober.....are those consecutive???? (781): 5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal http://tfl.nu/ppjn
  Replies (1) Good night (1416) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison. http://tfl.nu/yxd5
  Replies (2) Good night (997) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober http://tfl.nu/4i83
  Replies (3) Good night (885) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars. http://tfl.nu/wysd
  Replies (2) Good night (723) Bad night (223)

Randomize