Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

if there is a rhyme for it it must be true

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(301): if there is a rhyme for it it must be true http://tfl.nu/ckyq

Replies (2) Good night (1206) Bad night (504)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.

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(814): listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week. http://tfl.nu/ufqh

Replies (20) Good night (4628) Bad night (1033)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.

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(504): Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown. http://tfl.nu/w5m1

Replies (35) Good night (2204) Bad night (722)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it

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(763): there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it http://tfl.nu/ck34

Replies (50) Good night (1763) Bad night (3401)
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(269): View more from Michigan

im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower

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(269): im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower http://tfl.nu/s38n

Replies (15) Good night (3164) Bad night (823)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night

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(505): You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night http://tfl.nu/jwrk

Replies (14) Good night (4680) Bad night (998)
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(302): View more from Delaware

Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.

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(302): Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself. http://tfl.nu/ycey

Replies (8) Good night (3585) Bad night (1110)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!

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(732): He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love! http://tfl.nu/kaje

Replies (9) Good night (4871) Bad night (987)
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(815): View more from Illinois

How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?

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(815): How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back? http://tfl.nu/7gwj

Replies (5) Good night (1488) Bad night (799)
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(312): View more from Illinois

I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.

(224): View more from Illinois

Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.

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(312): I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks. (224): Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however. http://tfl.nu/lo15

Replies (8) Good night (2209) Bad night (797)
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(727): View more from Florida

Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?

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(727): Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots? http://tfl.nu/ihjx

Replies (4) Good night (2030) Bad night (708)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."

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(201): I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl." http://tfl.nu/ji6j

Replies (4) Good night (2021) Bad night (675)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done

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(405): I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done http://tfl.nu/3aup

Replies (5) Good night (1071) Bad night (595)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.

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(+61): I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress. http://tfl.nu/d4j1

Replies (4) Good night (358) Bad night (519)
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(830): View more from Texas

Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.

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(830): Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true. http://tfl.nu/sjks

Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (484)

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