Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot

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(904): at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot http://tfl.nu/zopv

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(434): View more from Virginia

question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.

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(434): question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically. http://tfl.nu/0m41

Replies (44) Good night (957) Bad night (5552)
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(626): View more from California

My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".

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(626): My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today". http://tfl.nu/jga5

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.

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(814): No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/k4yz

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(416): View more from Toronto

thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks

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(416): thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks http://tfl.nu/k1ka

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(469): View more from Texas

Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?

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(469): Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right? http://tfl.nu/axfy

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.

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(412): He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with. http://tfl.nu/33qn

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(907): View more from Alaska

I've ID'd the nipple biter.

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(907): I've ID'd the nipple biter. http://tfl.nu/u45n

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(417): View more from Missouri

I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.

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(417): I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday. http://tfl.nu/aq1n

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(626): View more from California

I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for

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(626): I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for http://tfl.nu/u8ph

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.

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(414): If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg. http://tfl.nu/31ua

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(630): View more from Illinois

I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.

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(630): I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager. http://tfl.nu/yzyc

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(561): View more from Florida

Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.

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(561): Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way. http://tfl.nu/yi36

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(805): View more from California

Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next

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(805): Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next http://tfl.nu/au7a

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(417): View more from Missouri

For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song

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(417): For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song http://tfl.nu/a91l

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