Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
ugly people sure do ruin things
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My liver is preforming stress tests.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
