it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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